Home » Intelligent Design » Nightly cuppa helps you sleep: Now let us give praise to the Beard

Nightly cuppa helps you sleep: Now let us give praise to the Beard

Evolution Sunday was couple weekends back, right? Never got there.*

But the thought intrigued me, could we help these forlorn people out by composing some praise songs?

Hey, how about”mutation” instead of “salvation” or “selection” instead of “perfection” … Brainstorming just to get you started.

No blasphemy now. Our list guvs are all devout Christians. But, given popular iconography, we may certainly refer to the atheists’ object of adoration as “the Beard,” and help them look openly as well as privately ridiculous.

(*At my church that Sunday, we were mostly doing what churches have done for 2000 years, so we must be doing everything wrong, right? The competition says so, and we of course agree with them politely and go right on doing it.)

This just in, for the Beardology file:

On February 9, 2011, Representative Pete Stark proposed H.Res. 81, expressing support for designating February 12, 2011 as Darwin Day and recognizing the importance of science to the betterment of humanity.

Curious, this “betterment of humanity” thing. To judge from their Website, these Center for Inquiry people are otherwise all for abortion and stem cell research. Speaking as someone who served my time as an embryo and fetus honourably, I feel confident in speaking for at least one section of humanity in advising them to get lost and take The Beard with them. But for now, I’d prefer some fun.

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6 Responses to Nightly cuppa helps you sleep: Now let us give praise to the Beard

  1. But the thought intrigued me, could we help these forlorn people out by composing some praise songs?

    Hard to top CS Lewis on this one.

    Lead us, Evolution, lead us
    Up the future’s endless stair;
    Chop us, change us, prod us, weed us.
    For stagnation is despair:
    Groping, guessing, yet progressing,
    Lead us nobody knows where.

    Wrong or justice, joy or sorrow,
    In the present what are they
    while there’s always jam-tomorrow,
    While we tread the onward way?
    Never knowing where we’re going,
    We can never go astray.

    To whatever variation
    Our posterity may turn
    Hairy, squashy, or crustacean,
    Bulbous-eyed or square of stern,
    Tusked or toothless, mild or ruthless,
    Towards that unknown god we yearn.

    Ask not if it’s god or devil,
    Brethren, lest your words imply
    Static norms of good and evil
    (As in Plato) throned on high;
    Such scholastic, inelastic,
    Abstract yardsticks we deny.

    Far too long have sages vainly
    Glossed great Nature’s simple text;
    He who runs can read it plainly,
    ‘Goodness = what comes next.’
    By evolving, Life is solving
    All the questions we perplexed.

    Oh then! Value means survival-
    Value. If our progeny
    Spreads and spawns and licks each rival,
    That will prove its deity
    (Far from pleasant, by our present,
    Standards, though it may well be).

  2. Dear Denyse,

    No offense intended, but:

    …could we help these forlorn people out by composing some praise songs?

    Perhaps. Christian worship music when I first heard it touched my darkened, seemingly hopelessly lost atheistic soul in a way that nothing else ever did.

    God speaks to our souls through music in a special way. In my many years as a nihilistic, materialistic atheist, classical music was my only connection with the God my soul obviously knew all along must exist.

    I play piano in a praise band at our church. This elevates and edifies my soul in a special way, and inspires me in my Christian walk.

  3. Well, Gil at 2, no offense taken either. But the Beard’s followers don’t have it in them to compose the praise music they yearn for so maybe their detractors could help, if only out of pity.

    How about “Lead me, lead me gently nowhere, to the All-Beard’s Promised Land”? Like, it scans, okay?

    Look, all Beard, no Beard, what the Hull is THIS, Beard?

    I still can’t believe that there is such a thing as BioLogos promoting All Beard All the Time when … in actual biology, Beardness is collapsing.

    I wonder how much of the funding is from the estates of pious widows who left their money to dying churches …

  4. I haven’t been around for awhile but Rep. Starks note is somewhat true and that is because it is limited. His phrasing is quite interesting because it is restricted. He must have been advised on what he could say that wouldn’t controversial.

    No one doubts natural selection does occur. It is just how big a change can happen with natural selection. The answer is in and the changes are minor. But also some minor changes can have devastating effects so the processes that produces change should be studied for the obvious reasons.

    A way around the problem on the teaching of evolution which eventually would undermine the Darwinian point of view is to suggest that all courses in Biology teach genetics and the changes that happen due to basic sexual processes. And how these processes have led to a modern understanding of disease and how to cure many of them and to the breeding of animals and the development of better crops. The fact that the curriculum stops here is because the science does not support anything more. Then the student will put two and two together and know that the big questions have not been solved.

    The main problem with teaching evolution remains the same. These processes are limited in what they can do and Darwin’s ideas and modern science has not shed any light on how complex changes arose but his ideas do show how some minor things have happened. So they are valuable for things like genetics, bacteriology, agriculture, and medicine and these must be taught. And the limiting of teaching to these areas will then convey a different message that Darwinist will definitely not like.

  5. Ms. O’Leary, Is not this the atheist’s praise song???:

    Kansas – Dust In the Wind
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1qxSwJC3Ly0

    or perhaps this???

    Imagine – John Lennon
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-b7qaSxuZUg

    Here is a recent rendition of the atheist’s creation story;

    When Nothing Created Everything
    JOE CARTER
    Excerpt: In the beginning was Nothing, and Nothing created Everything.,,,
    http://www.catholiceducation.o.....sc0120.htm

  6. I think the “Beware the Believers” video was the best. Darwin raising the roof makes for an excellent .gif.

    Interestingly, a local community college here in Florida (Broward College) is sponsoring a Darwin Day celebration of sorts, with speakers including somebody named AnonRa, who defends Darwin on YouTube. A co-worker who’s studying chemistry told me that she’d get extra points for showing up.

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