Home » Cosmology » Coffee!! Large Hadron Collider: If this “backwards time travel” is not a joke, it surely should be

Coffee!! Large Hadron Collider: If this “backwards time travel” is not a joke, it surely should be

Woes of God particle researchers worse than woes of Job, in the Bible, apparently:

Here’s a fun piece on the large Hadron Collider’s woes, when a passing bird dropped a piece of bread on it (yes!) , via Commentary Magazine – “Big Bang Machine Felled by Frenchman from the Future” by Anthony Sacramone (11/16/09):

So efforts by scientists to re-create the big bang — that moment, if one can speak of a moment, as in time, before there was time, or at least a decent wristwatch, when energy, or some hot gooey primordial stuff, spewed out a burgeoning universe, eventuating in the birth of galaxies, the advent of life, and the eventual cancellation of Charles in Charge — have failed once again.

It seems that the quixotic quest to find Higgs Boson, once thought to be the front man for an Air Supply tribute band, but which turns out to be the “God” particle,” has come to a crumbling halt.

First, about a year ago, the Large Hadron Collider (not to be confused with the Medium Hadron Collider and Omnidirectional Shower Head) went phffffff when, shortly upon whiz-banging, hydrogen began to leak from its cooling thingee, ruining a good pair of chinos and an autographed picture of Carol Channing.

Go here for more. The funny part is the explanation offered:

As the narrator of this CNN piece relates:

According to two physicists, the culprit could be the Higgs-Boson Particle traveling back in time to destroy itself.

Hey, I do that all the time, but generally only to defuse embarrassing social situations and get rid of problem documents. I do not  drop bread on anyone, unless they really, really bug me and only in situations where I can retreat indoors from the balcony before they figure out who dun it. Succeed or fail, I have an advantage over the Higgs Boson particle. I definitely exist.

Golly, I can remember the days when science was not ridiculous. Here’s another interesting comment.

Note added: Re the bread from heaven files: The secret of a successful aerial bread bomb – and I do not expect the bird to know this – is to make sure that the thickly buttered side lands in the victim’s hair.  I cannot give advice on the Large Hadron Collider. I only know how to ensure that snotty persons must go home and shampoo and shower before going to whatever upscale event they were bound for.

Other stories at Colliding Universes:

Cosmology: We have now identified the “evil” alternative universe Stand by to open fire

Coffee!! Bird drops piece of bread: Adds to Large Hadron Collider (God Machine) woes

Exoplanets: The recent pilgrimage to Darwin’s shrine

Cosmology: If you needn’t worry about paying the rent Friday, you can worry about this stuff

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